2012年9月11日星期二
She is the furthest I recently miss
22 years old, this beautiful age always seems related to love, and I always missed with love. billige brudekjoler I was an armed police, since the age before entering the military should not be in love in love with a girl, my life took a big change, but I waited six years, she eventually and I go our separate ways. At the moment, I am determined to write this feeling, When the text, such as dice-like in his writings and shake off the a pain like a thousand times previously surrounded me as I thought I had to be strong enough to endure all available at this time at the moment, I found that my heart is still pain was real. Since we can not escape, it would simply hurt him very much love it!
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She accepted my love, but not to me when boyfriend
I was a child growing up in rural areas, from the father and mother told me to study hard is my only way out. Very early sensible my studious, each time the scores are the first junior high was admitted to the city's focus on high school I struggled direction. In the summer of 1999, after the examination, I get it. A University Affiliated High School was admitted beyond the admission scores 50 points advantage. After the summer, with their college dreams I walked into the gate of the high school. The first day reports, and she points in a class, and the anteroposterior. I only know her name Yasumizu, who lives in the city, very pretty and very pure, First love me a good impression of her inexplicable inferiority complex, I simply do not have the courage to say to her, then put feelings buried in the bottom of my heart.
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Love for the 18-year-old is a very curious and very sensitive topic. Lying about the meeting, the students in the dorm after lights out at night, love to talk about some beautiful topics such as which girl. Every time I think of her but never dared to say it. Until one day, my classmates told me that said: "our class Yasumizu might be interesting for you." Harsh glare in his eyes, he did not say anything. But later I found that no matter what I do there is always a pair of eyes in silence watching me. She, she really is. I was overjoyed, she really likes me. Although at that time for his poor family background, I feel inferior, but I was afraid to write her a letter only "I like you" words of love letters, and then a long wait. The next few days she ignored me, I regret and call themselves "toad wants to eat, the outstanding boys chase in the city so much she did not accept her how fancy I do. I feel ashamed.
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But a few days later, I regret their approach punch quarters glass shattered. The result can be imagined, and my hand was school doctor bandaged beyond recognition. The next day after class, she took the initiative to find me, and asked me how it is, and complain that I do not accidentally do not know to take care of themselves. That moment I touched, she said she knew my mind, she was like me to write a love letter, she accepted me, became my girlfriend. I've never so happy in my Qingdouchukai met a beautiful girl and she accepts me, this degree makes me excited to sleep. Time I did not know it was just painful start.
She and I always have a gap, and I think maybe she was afraid people gossip, after all that time, love more underground. She is a cheerful and lively girl, but why she and the other boys fooling around, talking and laughing, and I and I together silent, it makes me very puzzled and sad. I do not know what you have done wrong. Maybe when admitted to the university just fine, I secretly consoled himself. But my grades plummet once the extent of the last few, she did what reaction. Me and her relationship, so unknown dark maintained for nearly two years, the two years I spent in pain and inferiority. We arrived at the college entrance examination, my think of of their toil parents and the home of poverty, so I desperately learning in the last few months, and eventually even miraculously admitted to University A, and she did not have the undergraduate to spend money read the high prices, is another good university admissions, I do not know pain or pleasure. I feel we just end.
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I pull her bowl, eat a bowl of rice, the rest of her
I think that time will dilute all college far distance to make each other forgotten. Colorful university life so I become cheerful again, simple kind plus a Qing-Xiu Zhang face let me win the hearts and minds of several female classmates, but every time I want to go to the face, I feel seems to do a disservice to Yasumizu things, why is it so? I found myself simply can never forget that relationship just bury it in the bottom of my heart. Some say the university campus will always have the most pure love, so I began to imagine her together.
One day, I suddenly received her phone call in the city of A. She told me to miss me, and asked me, How are you getting bad. After graduating from high school, I swear this life is no longer wanted her moment of holding the handset I found this oath is so feeble, my heart flew to her side. So we began the love this phone Epistles. But her attitude is always flickering, erratic.
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Day in June 2004, I could not contain herself for her miss, so I went from distant B City A City. She was so beautiful, pleasant, and I am no longer the ugly duckling. Our conversation seems very speculative, their quarters a girl told me that she had many suitors, she is hesitant to do not know who to choose, I suddenly thought about his retirement, because I'm not a very confident person, I also can not guarantee that I can bring her happiness. In the day I left school, I have prepared beforehand letter to their quarters that kind of girl, so she handed Yasumizu after I left school.
A City last dusk, we eat in school cafeterias. I quickly finished their own share of rice, but she left a bowl of rice. I pull her jobs to eat the rest of the bowl of rice. When I looked up at her, I found her eyes the tears fall, I do not know what to do at that moment. She handed me a napkin and something that I will never forget: "I'm so big no one ate my leftover rice, I feel like home," and then I realized I have never eaten others leftover rice. I move completely unconscious, I did not know that his heart really love her. Out of the restaurant, we were both silent, without a word, and finally sat down on a bench, cross between me and her bag so we always separated by an insurmountable distance. She told me that she is not like I do not just feel the love between us is not realistic, she does not want to love letters and phone, and a promise of tomorrow. At that moment, I was silent, I think people are inevitably vulgar, beautiful love only looking to go to a fairy tale. So, I chose to leave.
She is always a pain in my heart
Back to City B, I still can not extricate themselves mired in the slough of yearning. I think back and with her little sweet, and sweet after endless suffering. Like a drug addict is so happy in the moment of the drugs can be happy after the unbearable pain. I was in love poison but incurable.
The winter of 2004, the armed forces to the school conscription, in pain, I seem to see a life-saving straw. I decided to change the environment of life for some time, I like to be different not hesitate to choose to join the army, excellent very smoothly army selected. In the days of waiting for enlistment, I silently dealing with their own stuff, I did not tell her the news that I want to join the army. QQ Classmates by common her leave, and I am a long time ago just a visitors. Deal with all things, I joined the army.
Ordered the forces of life is stressful, busy but not chaotic. Daily training duty, so I was mentally and physically exhausted, while the soul unmoved. I do not give yourself the time to stop doing all kinds of work like a dog, just to make yourself forget the past. Over the past year, I rarely call rarely write, and shut ourselves up. Dense, her beautiful face will always appear in my dreams and wake up after the kind of thoughts like soaked in poison line, stitch by stitch to sew my tattered heart feeling even if I execute the task when faced with death, have not stopped, and she is a pain in my heart forever ...
I was removed through a friend know she already has a boyfriend, also admitted to graduate this year, and now, my tour of duty is also full, going home at the end, it is necessary to go back to school to continue my college life, I feel I in two different road and her farther and farther. Military life made me mature a lot, and I know there are a lot of things I need to do, and can not be immersed in this illusory love forever alone sad. The hand does not necessarily want to ride out this life, and embrace only representative once owned. The source of the pain from the grasp for happiness, because I have so close contact with happiness, so the pain was so real
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